New parents get more support in the early days

The NZ Government is giving a funding boost to new parents in the form of extra visits from Plunket. We all know about Baby Blues and Post Natal Depression and I believe this extra support is a step in the right direction to helping reduce the increasing rates.

After hearing about recent funding cuts to essential services such as self defense for high school girls, women’s refuge and family court marriage counselling service, it’s great to have some good news in the media.

The full article on the Budget Boost can be found here.

Life Size Barbie!

Photo: GALIA SLAYEN

Galia Slayen made a Barbie doll that stands about 6 feet tall with a 39″ bust, 18″ waist, and 33″ hips. 

Four years ago, Slayen, then a student at Lincoln High School in Portland, Ore., built what she believed to be a life-size version of the doll she played with as a child as part of the first National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

“I’m not blaming Barbie [for my illness] — she’s one small factor, an environmental factor,” Slayen said. “I’m blond and blue-eyed and I figured that was what I was supposed to look like. She was my idol. It impacted the way I looked at myself.”

The goal in creating Barbie’s likeness was to start conversation. “Talking about eating disorders is taboo to many people, and this made people talk about it,” Slayen said. “It’s a shocking image. A lot of people have seen it, and it’s started debates,” she said, particularly after she wrote about it for the Huffington Post. “Her proportions are not 100 percent correct, but her look is not invalid.”

“As a pop-cultural icon, Barbie is often used as art to express one’s own personal opinions and views,” a Mattel spokesperson said in an email. “Girls see female body images everywhere today and it’s critical that parents and caregivers provide perspective on what they are seeing. It’s important to remember that Barbie is a doll who stands 11.5 inches tall and weighs 7.25 ounces — she was never modeled on the proportions of a real person.”

Article source: today.com

I don’t have a daughter, but I was a girl once and know what it’s like when first developing an awareness of my body. It’s confusing, a little scary and very embarrassing.

If you are a Mum to girls, look closely at how you behave toward your own body, diet and exercise. Your daughters are likely to model what you DO, which may differ from what you say. So if you exercise to ‘lose weight’ rather than ‘be healthy’, diet constantly or make derogatory comments about your appearance, then they will too.

And Dads, you also need to monitor your attitude toward women. You need to be aware of how you respond to sexy, thin women because your daughter is listening and watching.

Catherine Zeta-Jones Suffers from Bipolar

Photo: REX FEATURES

Catherine Zeta Jones checked into a pshychiatric hospital admitting she suffers from bipolar depression.

Depression is something I have experienced after the birth of my first child so I have a high level of interest in the illness. 

Why is depression on the increase for women?

I think our generation of women have struggled to achieve a balance between home and work. We are a bunch of professional high-achievers, with extremely high standards and out of control perfectionism issues. Well, that’s true for me anyway. When we reach our 30′s and add a family to the picture, we either have to compromise our standards or place even higher pressure on ourselves to keep on top. Eventually, we burnout, leaving us vulnerable to depression.

If you are suffering from depression here are two sites to begin to seek help:

www.depression.org.nz

www.thelowdown.co.nz

 

 

Welcome Mums!

Ever feel like you’re spinning your wheels trying to keep up with everything? When we become mothers, we are in for a lot of issues we may not have had to deal with before. You know…things like:

• not enough time to get it all done
• lack of focus
• less energy than we used to have

And more. Due to the demanding lifestyles most of us lead, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or defeated.

The good news is, there are effective solutions that work!

Is Your Business Actually ‘Just A Hobby’? (Ouch!)

More and more Mums are starting home-based businesses to supplement the family income. On paper, it’s like a match made in heaven – no need for childcare, very little overheads, and you can work whenever you want, choosing your hours around the needs of your kids.

At first, it’s really exciting and you’re full of enthusiasm and unlimited passion for what you’re doing. Yes, it’s hard work but it feels good too.

However, women entrepreneurs operate from a female mindset that often sabotages their efforts to be a successful business owner.

We are in charge of running the household to include laundry, house cleaning, shuffling children to activities, walking the dog etc. The majority of the time you put family first.

Let me explain further. You may consult your spouse and the family budget before scheduling out of town business trips. You probably consult the family budget before buying business supplies or investing in your business. You may also consult your spouse and children before you schedule weekend or evening activities.

If you operate from home and constantly put family first you are at risk of being viewed by your spouse, children, family and friends as working on a hobby or jobby (job and hobby) instead of running a business. This can feel insulting and lead to frustration because you don’t feel like you are being taken seriously.

The advice I give to my clients is to adopt a new mindset. Stop feeling guilty and beating yourself up. Run your business as if it were a storefront. Stop consulting a spouse that does not support your endeavor, instead find a mastermind group or a business coach.

Mums running home-based businesses must establish clear boundaries for when they conduct revenue-producing and business-building activities.

It is imperative that you have the necessary systems in place so you can grow your business. This includes establishing a time for housecleaning and laundry, which does not cut into business hours or investing in a cleaner. Consider hiring a babysitter or someone to help with children and their after school activities so you can focus on business. You could also look into getting a VA (Virtual Assitant) to take on the low-value, time consuming tasks.

When YOU demonstrate that you’re serious about your business, then others around you will too.

Time To Try Something New!

When was the last time you tried something for the first time?

Most of us are afraid of trying something new for fear of failing. We don’t want to look silly or incompetent in front of our friends, family, even our children. We decline going to a Zumba class. We take a rain check on Sing Star nights with the girls. And we use a number of excuses to justify our actions: too busy, no babysitter, lack of budget.

Trying something new opens up a world of possibilities and opportunities. Doing the same thing each day – meeting the same people, eating at the same restaurant, working in the same office – gets boring and lacks challenge after a while. Seek fresh opportunities and ideas and don’t be afraid to take on new projects that come your way.

Although I wrote a special report about breaking out of your comfort zone, even I forget to be brave sometimes…we all forget to try new things regularly. It’s probably time to shake things up a little. It just takes one little step.

Hesitant to sign up for an online course on a topic you want to know more about? Go for it! Not only will you gain knowledge on this topic but you will also find out about how distance education works. You may also learn something about yourself – you’re not as intimidated, introverted or incapable as you thought you were.

Aim to try something different every week. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. You may be pleasantly surprised at what you discover. And imagine the role model you are being for your children!

>Why Do We Need Goals?

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Many of us drift through life believing that it is something that just happens TO us. As if we have no control over our situations or the challenges that arise. For example, you may have heard (or said things) like “I’ve just been dealt a bad hand” or, “bad things always happen to me” or “that’s just my luck”. I believe that life – and its challenges – happen because you either have something to learn or you have (maybe unwittingly) chosen that particular path to travel.

Some of my clients come to me not knowing what they want. While they are leading their lives, something just doesn’t feel quite right. Sometimes, it’s just that they don’t see the choices that are sometimes right in front of them. Other times I have to find out an underlying issue, work on that and then guide them towards the outcome they desire. But with all my clients, we analyse the gap between where they are now and where they want to be and together we build a bridge that helps them get to their goal.

Why do we need goals?

You wouldn’t begin a journey without planning the best route to get to your destination, would you? Without goals you are drifting and when you drift you are not in control. If you are not in control, then someone else is. You have relinquished your basic right to shape your own future. And in doing this, you also surrender your freedom of action which restricts your choices and can lead to furstration, anxiety, fear and stress.

Where do I start?

Stephen Covey says to “Begin with the end in mind” so figuring out what you want is the first step. That’s precisely where we start on the first morning of our ‘Time for Change’ workshop series for Mums. You have to really nail down exactly WHAT you want, otherwise you will waste time, energy and other precious resources being distracted along the way.

Join me and up to 6 other like minded Mums each Thursday for 6 weeks designing your life. Sign up here to get the full scoop.

© 2009 – 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd. Be the FIRST to receive more great tips like this and sign up for Kirstie’s weekly ‘Success Strategies for Women’ ezine. All you have to do is sign up at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz. Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

>PlayGround Battles Between Mums – Time For Change

>Competition among mothers is nothing new, particularly for modern mums it seems. And I don’t know about you, but clients of mine are exhausted by it. What we view – and maybe naively so – as the most natural job in the world has become incredibly complex and it appears to be getting worse. We seem to be uplevelling our expectations and skills on a daily basis. We compare and compete all the time yet when asked if we particpate, we deny it outright. If none of us think we are doing it, then where does this competitive divide come from?

Hazel Gaynor, a journalist for the Irish Independent writes, “I have a sneaking suspicion that while we all pretend to show disdain to ‘those mothers’ who ask you how old your boy is and then inform you with too much glee that their little boy had been walking for six months by that stage, we are all on high alert for a snippet of information which will prove that we are doing the better job.”

Personally I encountered this type of competitiveness in the UK from the mothers in my antenatal group. We got together after the babies were born a few times, but I couldn’t sit there and join in their conversations. It was all baby-focused and about whose baby was sitting unaided, clapping hands and saying ‘dada’. It slowly ate away my confidence in my ability as a mother. As for my experience in NZ, I haven’t joined any groups for new mums, so I can’t comment…but my clients tell me it’s not too different.

I wonder just how many new mums walk away from baby or toddler groups feeling completely inadequate as mothers (like I did) just because their child can’t work out the shape sorter?

The truth is we are all stumbling our way through motherhood – too scared to admit we may not be coping, that we may not be enjoying all of it, even the most monotonous and mundane bits, for fear that we look bad as mothers. So we pretend everything is great and then because we maintain this false reality, other new mums feel they need to too. Competing to be ‘perfect’ in this way is our way of feeling in control and successful.

I have become The Mum Coach to help mums that are experiencing the pressure of competitiveness and comparison. I help mums get back to trusting their own instincts and be reassured they are doing the best they can. I help them get to the point where they trust that their best is good enough. We can only do the best we can, with the resources we have.

Time For Change

For the FIRST time in New Zealand, I am running my bestselling workshop series (formerly titled Parents: Reclaim Your Life). Now Kiwi mums can get in on the act!

Here’s what I share with you:

*my proven 3-step system to find out exactly WHAT it is you want

*what has to CHANGE so you stop wasting time on strategies that aren’t working

*why “having it all” is a myth…and how you can work around it to get to that happy place

*top methods to successfully handling potentially awkward situations so you get the outcome you want

*secret confidence techniques to achieve the goals you set for yourself during the workshop

*how to improve your relationships (with your kids, partner and friends)

*my 3 grades of ME time…and how to achieve it without feeling selfish or guilty

It’s starting Thursday 21st October 2010 and running for 5 Thursdays after that, with our last session being 25th November 2010.

To find out more sign up for our newsletter and tick the ‘Workshops’ box.
But hurry! We only take a maximum of 6 women each series!

© 2009 – 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

>"Free Delivery"…Yawn, It’s Time To Try Something New

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The “free delivery on all orders over X amount” campaign is old. I’m seeing it all the time and ladies with online retail businesses, if you want to stay one step ahead of your competitor, then it’s time to try something NEW.

Nothing gets people buying products like a special promotion…it’s all how you position it.

Here are a few different ideas to get your products flying out the door:

1. “We’ll finance it”. Offer a payment plan – this works great for higher priced items and programs. (If you have a decent shopping cart program, you should be able to set up timed, automatic billing.)

2. VIP discount. Give a special offer to a certain group. Show your e-zine subscribers, your clients, your speaking audiences, etc. that they’re special.

3. Free 30-day trial. Get their credit card information at the time of order, but don’t charge them until the month is up. Another variation is the 30 day trial for $1.

4. Special bonus. Give something extra if people purchase before a certain date. (This is a great strategy to up your sales without cutting your prices.) And it doesn’t have to be something from your company.

5. Pre-publication sale. Start taking orders before your product is even ready. (Seeing orders come in is also a great incentive for you to finally finish creating that product!)

BONUS TIP: Package discount. Offer a big discount if they order all your products/services or a select combination thereof.

I’m sure you have other ideas to add. Choose one for your business and give it a try.

© 2009 – 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Be the FIRST to receive more great tips like this and sign up for Kirstie’s weekly ‘Success Strategies for Women’ ezine. All you have to do is sign up at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

>Post Natal – Debunking the Supermum Myth

>You did it! Baby is born and home and everything is going great! Isn’t it?

There is a huge hormone change which happens at the end of pregnancy and giving birth and the ‘Edinburgh Test’ is commonly used to check on Mums around six weeks after baby’s arrival. It gives professionals (it’s usually done by your midwife) a guage, if you will. The most important thing is that you are honest when you answer the questions. I lied when I became a mum because I didn’t want my midwife to think I was a bad mother for not being totally overjoyed and enthusiastic about my new role. It doesn’t make you a bad mother if you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

Most mums have the ‘baby blues’ after giving birth, but it’s when the bad days start to outweigh the good that you need to chat to someone about how you are feeling. Don’t ignore it, and don’t let who you choose to talk to brush it off either. It’s best to get a potential case of depression recognised sooner rather than later because if not dealt with, untreated depression can lead to permanent mental health problems.

The SuperMum Myth

Every mum battles with the supermum image…it’s everywhere and particularly prominent in the media. We are bombarded with pictures of celebrity mums looking perfect and happy as they leave the hospital with their newborns. It’s a MYTH. Those mums have nannies, night nurses, personal trainers, nutritionists, housekeepers, etc.
You may look around and see that “Sue” has it all under control and so you strive to be more like her. A week later, you fall apart wondering how she can do it and you can’t. What we need to remember is that we all have different standards, different priorities and certainly different pressures. Scrubbing floors until they sparkle may be a priority for Sue, but for you it may be spending time on the floor, making your baby laugh for the first time or doing a puzzle with your 3 year old.

While that is easy advice to give, it’s more difficult to take on. If you want help with your post natal adjustment period, give me a call. I’m not going to talk to you about breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding or settling baby to sleep. There are professional organisations available to help you with that. I am here to support you with the emotional side effects after becoming a mother.

Congratulations to all my wonderful Mum readers – I’m sure you are doing a great job!

© 2009 – 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd. Be the FIRST to receive more great tips like this and sign up for Kirstie’s weekly ‘Success Strategies for Women’ ezine. All you have to do is sign up at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz. Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.